Hiding my Lady Lump.
Before I received Breast Implants I imagined how clothes would fit me better and how I would look more like a women if I had larger breast. I never thought of the rippling that goes along with implants. I sure did not think about Capsular Contracture or having a large knot in one of them. Every shirt or dress I wear now, must be chosen with this in mind. I also dreamed of going to Victoria Secret. Those commercials are very enticing! After my implants, I learned bra designers are most likely men, and were designed with real breast in mind.
Now, with the implant bottoming out so much, I am no longer able to wear a bra, or shirts with built in bras. The part were the band rubs under my implants causes a lot of pain.
I realized, while shopping with a girl friend recently, that I had not shared this with any one. In a moment of self realization I noticed I have been secretly hiding the flaws of the implants for many years.
I have seen other women with implants struggle with the same task. Hiding the flaws. Hiding the truth.
I wonder why more women do not talk publicly about this. Is it that we feel ashamed? The websites, and the stats and the doctors tell us, we are experiencing this “defect” because it is our bodies that are not ok. That the plastic prosthetic and their work is A-OK, it is our body that has become faulty.
I am so grateful for my experiences in life. I am so grateful I have spoken to so many dissatisfied women.These women remind me my story is NOT uncommon. Their stories, the photos of their breast implants remain at the front of my mind, I am no longer fooled by fake statistics and misleading evidence.
The stats are not true. They are not true because there is no Date Base for Women to Report To. There is no where my results where will be calculated. I am only a number. I only became a number because I had the dollars. Having breast implants is risky. The risk is far greater then what the Doctors making the money from these procedures want to tell us. Of course, they have been sold on this idea of fake beauty as well. They have been sold, this idea of a magic pill or a magic cut that will cure what ails us. I am not damming the doctors. That is not my style. I am sharing my story. I am sharing my reality, My experience. I am showing what many many women are afraid to show. Every day i receive messages from women telling stories of great courage, and wisdom.
I am grateful.
When we share our wisdom we strengthen the whole.
How we present ourselves and carry ourselves is how the world views us. Having breast implants did in-fact change the way I was viewed. So now dressing them becomes the task. I used to want larger breast, now they are in the way and a large reminder of why Prevention is my path.
Since I have shared this story, dressing my implants has become even more of a mindful task. Now when i meet people, their eyes first drift down. I notice they immediatly go to my chest. I wonder what they are thinking, can they see the deformity? Do they WANNA see the deformity. Because I will show you if you ask. I will allow you to touch the golf ball size knot that is close to rupturing. Some donate their bodies to Science when they go, me I offer my body daily to discover ways to prevent another from pain.
This is my story, unedited. with love and healing weaved in these words, i wish you a well day<3
